Trauma: How it Shapes You but Doesn't Define You

Trauma is more than just "something bad that happened to you once." It is more like something that happened once that you find yourself reliving over and over again no matter how badly you want to stop reliving it. Trauma reroutes the thought patterns in your brain and turns normal events into experiences of anxiety and dread.

In listening to each of the stories that were told in class, I thought about how trauma is not just one thing. It can be literally anything that caused enough anxiety in you that it leaves a permanent mark on your life. Trauma is dark and lonely, but the speakers in class showed me that it is possible to overpower it and make it small enough that it no longer defines your life. It will always be there, but there is a chance to put it in the periphery rather than have it be the focus of everything you do.

When talking with someone about their trauma, it is important to remember that they are sharing a part of themselves that they are likely not proud of, and that makes them vulnerable. That is when holding space for them becomes so important. By holding space for someone, you are saying to them "your story is important," "I care about you," "I believe you," "your feelings are valid." You can alter that person's way of thinking about their trauma and help them see that they have been shaped by their trauma, but they are not defined by their trauma.